Row Row Row A Boat

This is the most calm fight I ever had with him. Or I think so..

I did swore, I raised my voice a little over the phone. But at least I didn't cry, though I would like to shed tears. I hope tears could flows easily like those days, at least they said crying could make one feels better.

I'm so tired. I can't take it anymore.

I thought we were supposed to work together, encourage each other, push each other to the best that we can achieve. I thought we had had a mutual agreement on this matter.

I tried my best to fulfill my part of the agreement. I don't mind doing more. I don't mind reminding you to do your part, which is something I did not like. There is a saying which goes "it's hard for you to change the others; it's easier for you to change yourself". I understand this, therefore I learned to compromise. I learned to see things differently. Doing things that I would not like to do if I'm still the old me. I knew you have sacrificed as well, possibly more. Therefore by compromising, I hope to ease your burden. Perhaps, you don't agree.

But I just couldn't take it when I learned that you took the initiative to remind ** of something important, but not reminding me. I was disappointed. I thought we are a team. The news came as a shock to me, and I felt as if I'm slapped tight on the face! I finally realize that I'm a lone soulja rowing the boat that is carrying us both. Rowing alone through a large ocean, which is covered with massive fog. We don't know what ** is doing because ** never share and we had to tell ** everything every time ** ask. It was just so unfair. I thought we had a common agreement to help each other since this situation is inevitable. Looks like I'm wrong. You have been sending signal to ** secretly. Maybe it's just miscommunication between us, but the slap definitely woke me up.

I finally also realize that not only I'm rowing the boat alone, you have been discouraging me to row as well all this while! You are pulling me back. You rather we sink ourselves into this deep and cold ocean. Why would you do that? Maybe it's just miscommunication again, I quote you.

Nonetheless.. there has always been another problem lurking in our relationship since the start of MBA. Bottom line...

I don't want to be your secretary, your servant, nanny, or mom.

Even more, I don't wanna be your shadow!

I want to be able to be myself again!

But it is of no avail no matter how much I wish for it... *sob*

Dream oh Dream

Inception.

There are one-oh-one reasons that you should go for it...

It's the most original movie I've seen. Not based on book, comic, game, or any other sources. It's totally ground-breaking, remarkably complex and layered. Fantastic dreamscapes to be explored, and very perspective-challenging. It's a one film that does not assume that it is playing to an audience made up of 8-year-olds. It rightfully assumes that audience can embrace the complex ideas. You would probably get a headache after the movie. I did... information overload. My friend told me he even spilled his Coke at one scene! Lol.

It's the product of an amazing Nolan-DiCaprio team-up, and a supporting dream team cast consisting Micheal Caine, Ken Watanable, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, and more. Any movie that is starring Leo DiCaprio, I'll go for it. He is not just a pretty face. Not anymore the boy from Titanic. If you have seen Blood Diamond, or the recent Shutter Island, you would understand what I actually meant. And it's developed from the director of The Dark Night. So you know the quality is there.

After you have seen it, it could be the only thing you will want to talk about for at least the next week. Walking out of the movies do left us with meta questions. If I were to get something to be learnt out of this movie, I would say that ideas are contagious, powerful and unstoppable and these ideas shape the way we live and think. It makes you wonder how you have become the person you are now, and explores how the things you have experienced have affected the decisions you made and will make. An article even said that after seeing it, one won't just like Inception, one will be a better person. Lol.

So... what you are waiting for?

Buy a ticket to see it!

Let's get yourself be drawn into the world of subconscious espionage!

And be entertained the hell out of Inception!

P/S: In case you would like to discover more, and clarify things, read this to get the answers for the questions that are playing in your mind after you have seen the movie. Only AFTER you have seen the movie!

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Inception-Explained-Unraveling-The-Dream-Within-The-Dream-19615.html

What A Day II: A Date

Done with the make-up. Simple one will do, I think of myself. Afterall, nudity is the new beauty. I had flipped through all the dresses in my cupboard, and found myself cancelling off each dresses that came to my hand as I looked into the mirror. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. Ahha! Maybe it's time to shop, to add new treasures to my cupboard. Nope, stop! I can't afford to further shrink my already very tight wallet! Okay, no shopping today. I made myself promise to this! I will control my desires!

While I was consumed in my own thoughts, the phone rang. Babe's here! Quickly, I put on a simple black & white dress plus a cardigan, swiftly brushed my hair again, then I'm off! Heading to Mid Valley. I'm excited!

First of all, we went to Chili's for lunch. I know, I know, a dinner would be more appropriate for a date. But we both vowed to slim down, to shake off the fats we gained during the exam weeks and semester break. Lol. So here we were at Chili's, at 2pm.

Babe took this because there's a chili behind.

It represents me - Babe calls me Jalapeno x.X

I had a cocktail - Mandarin Blush.

Babe had a bottomless fruit juice. =)

Our appetizer xD

Wings Over Buffalo & Fries which taste superb!

My main dish - Tortillas! Yum yum...

Babe's main dish - of which the name I forgot xD

See the handsome guy beside me.. Only if his abs is as 'handsome'.. ahh.. xD

Later on, we went for a movie. We had some difficulty in choosing the movie. There were so many choices. I wanted to see Knight and Day but Babe already watched it, so.. pass. We heard A-Team is great, and Despicable Me is funny.. but.. not the type of movies I want to see on a date.. pass. Haha.. we had plenty of time to choose the right movie as there was a long long queue. At last, we decided. The Backup Plan. This will do. One with love-comedy genre.

Lovely. Funny. Touchy.

Yeah.. this would be my verdict for The Backup Plan.

J. Lo is as stunning as usual. Apart from the really good storyline,

what caught my attention is him.. Alex O'Loughlin and his packs!

If this picture is not enough, search the web for more.

Or better still, go for the movie.

I know I'm crazy.. lol.. But I'm one of the girls who have a thing over packs.

And I hope Babe would work it out.. haha xD

At night, we kissed goodbye. It's really a beautiful day.

Spain won, yummlicious lunch at Chili's, and watched a lovey dovey movie with the actor showing off his packs.. ahh.. life is great! *satisfying smile*

What A Day I

The sun rays penetrated into my room through the windows and I felt warmth on my eyes. I moaned for not adjusting the curtains well the night before. And then, something struck me. I literally sprung to sit up straight, and looked for my phone the first thing I opened my eyes. Gosh... What's the result? I did not stayed up late to watch the final match between Netherlands and Spain. I know, I know, people says I should because it happens only once every 4 years. But, I'm worried of getting heart attacks!!! So I made Babe to promise to message me the results once the match ends.

I flipped my phone... ... ... ... ... Yayyyyy! SPAIN WON!!! Instantaneously I felt a smile from ear to ear spread across my face. I laid back on my beds, resting myself on the pillow that I grumbled about last night but seems soft now, wrapping myself in the icy cold blanket, relieving myself of the brief tension I built earlier.

Congratulation~! ^.^

Today is going to be a great day!

A date with Babe later. God knows for how long we didn't go out for a real date, with just the 2 of us.

Today is going to be a great day, I repeated to myself.

Clash of the Titans

Just came back from a gathering session with my dear babes from Taiping. It was not a gathering session, really. It was more like a "world cup fever" session, especially to me & Ai Wei. xD We were crazy over football and handsome players *squint*, and kept commenting on past matches. It was a real challenge to ignore the match when there was such a big screen in front of us, and everyone surrounding us were there just for the sake of watching the big match between the titans. Argentina vs. Germany.

If you have read my previous post, you would know I supported Argentina. Honestly this was the first 2010 World Cup match that I ever watched. And I think I got a heart attack!!! Gosh...

I was like them at the end of the match.. total disappointment, and sad.

I think Argentina's confidence tore apart

and were totally shaken by the 2-minute's goal of Germany.

Dang the first German's goal!

Argh.. The German were good with their counter attacks later too.

4-0! Honestly, Argentina's defeat to Germany is like a kick on the face to them! I thought they could at least made it to the top 4.

3 fav teams, 2 out... both beaten severely by the German sausages. This is the first match I watched, and I was left heart-broken! Nonetheless, tight hugs to the Albiceleste! You guys are still the best!

BFF

Friends.

And what he said later sound like humming in the background.

I wander away while still clinging to the phone, agreeing here and then to what he has to say. Yet, I know he got what I meant all wrong. I don't mean the friends problem... in that way. No, not about the way we were going back to the times when we first got together. Not about freedom. Not his concerns... Though I agree it's hard to look for friends in MBA that you want to hang out for life, especially when you are taking night classes. The problem, lies in me. Me myself.

How shall I present my case?

Weeks before, I took a personality quiz on a magazine which is titled "Are you a man's woman, or a girl's girl", and my scores turned out that I'm neither a man's woman, nor a woman's woman. "You are your own woman". I had guessed so, because I know I'm not especially good with any girls or guys. Although I'm pleased with "The Ups" of which I'm flattered to say here, I still can't stop thinking on the dark side.

I don't have a real best friend.

The girls I hang out with are my best friends. But real best friends, I don't think so. Because I can't confess my problem, my emotion to them. They would not care to spend time hear you babbling away with your thoughts, because their lives centered around themselves. And I don't trust them enough to ensure that I'm safe from backslash and betrayal. Been there many times, and ended up licking my own wounds and wished I had keep my mouth shut! Maybe it's hard to deal with girls. I always find guys are more easy going. We never fight. Oh... maybe except P because he is a monster. It's time to redefine the relationship with them, and decided to stay on the surface will do.

And, I'm left with nobody.

Ahh... The girls that I considered real best friends, are miles apart. We only met each other like, once a quarter? This pattern repeats for 4 to 5 years and now I feel like I can't really really blend with them already. Thanks to the babes, we are all making effort to keep in touch every chances we have. I love them. Still...

The problem is not solved. I need someone to be there. Or at least, someone who I know would be there, soon. Someone to shop with. Someone to care for. Someone who would understand and doesn't need me to prove my case. Someone to gossip with. To hang out like twins! She and she, and even she has. I don't have even one!

I'm unhappy for months. And maybe it's just self-fulfilling prophecy, this matter get worse because I often feel like I'm overshadowed. It's something like Blair and Serena in Gossip Girl, and I'm Blair. Serena is the one who gets all the sunshine and attention, and I'm Serena's friend. Nobody seems to care that I'm Blair. The difference is my Serena is not a girl, but a guy.

They fight. But still they are friends for life.

I want one.

Well, after I think over the matter again and again, I realize that I actually have one real best friend. Or can I consider him in that light? I can confess to him anything, and care not that I would look stupid or say something wrongly. We gossip every now and then and won't fear of betrayal. We understand each other. Console each other. Hang out together. We learn to shop together. *smile* But... he is my babe. My bf. Could my bf also be my BFF? I sort of want them to be a separate persons. Sometimes, only sometimes, I wish he is not my bf, so he can be my BFF, my twins!

*Sigh*

The Twilight Saga

5 days, and I've finished 3 out of the 4 books (gladly skipped New Moon) of the Twilight Saga. I'm so awed by myself! In case you raised an eyebrow to question what is to be awed of, the books are as thick as bricks ya know?!

Have a thing about sparkling vampires? or having a vampire and werewolves fighting over you is a secret desires of yours? Like it or hate it, the Twilight saga is huge around the world. If you want to have a taste on contemporary forbidden love affairs.. go to the bookstores and pick up the novels. Or.. you can hit the cinema. But.. I don't know.. to me.. the movie sucks! To the max!

The Twilight Saga.

Breaking Dawn is the best!

My verdict? Harry Potter's series are still the best! *Squint*

Depressing Novels

I've been burying myself in novels... it has been awhile since I touch, let alone read one. I've finished one with a total of 498 pages yesterday, and I am almost done with the second one. I think I should stop for awhile, taking it slowly, else I'll run out of novels to read soon.

It is Eclipse, if you are wondering what am I reading. I skipped New Moon, and went straight from Twilight to Eclipse. I guess I'll pass being bored to death with New Moon, and spare myself from all the dark thoughts Bella's having while Edward's gone. I have had enough to deal with my own emo-ness.

Nonetheless, did I mention, as I read through the pages, I find that the story is actually quite depressing. Bella's characters are... all wrong to be the main character... she is too, normal. And depressing. Not the one that could inspire you to do great things. I see me in this character. Lack of confidence for instance. No faith in myself.

Bla bla... I should stop now. I still don't feel like talking about what had been bothering me for some time... Not now...

The English Lost

The English lost! Just as I had expected... but still very doomed... :'( ...

@ my facebook, I shouted if Fattie Roo was not left wriggling his fat arse in the field, there might still be some hope. I held it true! But it's also true that England lack of teamwork. It has always been like this. Sigh.

I wanna pout as long as I can...!

The World Cup Frenzy

Seeing this familiar logo, I doubt that anyone could not have a good guess of what I'm going to talk about tonight.

Tonight is the night!... England will be playing against Germany... Gosh will England share the same fate as USA, pack their bags and go back to their homeland, or they will survive and took another step closer to victory?

Not likely... was what I've been thinking since I knew England will be kicking against Germany. Seeing how England has underperformed certainly anxious me. Not that I don't wanna have more faith in my favorite team. That Rooney... he better put on some serious actions tonight, or I'll call him fat arse forever! Duhhh...

Well I hope I'll be seeing this pose on the paper
or across the internet tomorrow~!
*Persuading some faith into me*

Yup!... England was my favorite team. And I guess they still are, since I'm still concerned whether they can make it through. Ahha! Nonetheless, I'm not having the World-Cup-fever like I used to have. Plainly because my favorite player, since I was in high school, is not playing this year. I knew it months before that Owen is less likely to be playing at this year World Cup, but I wouldn't let myself into believing it. And often 'tortured' Babe whenever he told me that. Lol... But the reality finally kicked in when the World Cup kicked off eventually.

Did I tell you why he is my all time favorite?
Ahem.. besides the good look (for me)..

I find he is always, mostly, the savior of the game.. he is good at what he is doing!

And this fact caused to be less interested in World Cup. I guess it's because I suddenly don't have any team to support, and when that happens, I guess it's meaningless to be excited over even something this big. It just feels dull...

Anyways, Babe is supporting Spain & England, although he preferred the former team, God and everyone close to him know why. Ahha! I guess then, if I want to feel the football frenzy again, (after all it happens only once every four years!), I must choose a team or two to support, huh. Hmm... I'm eyeing Spain because of Babe & Torres, England as usual, and Argentina because of Messi! Ahha... Let's plan something for the finals will ya'~! ;p

Babe always imagined himself to be Torres-like..
Although I don't see any resemblance of this great striker in him... xD

You see him now, you see him not.. He is fast!
And do you notice he is wearing my favorite no. 10?
Exactly what I like him for... He seems like Owen, (although of course, Owen wins in looks)
Or maybe better than Owen. =)